Friday, April 19, 2013

I Surrender






I Surrender…

Earlier usually one thought or event would touch me and it was easy to pen them down onto this blog… But these days so many thoughts and event occur daily…. So much to write and in the end I end up writing nothing…

As I was listening to this hymn today – “I surrender” by Hillsong… I just felt how many times earlier I have told Lord that -  "I surrender my life to you God"… but in reality the very next moment tried to take total control of the situation… it’s like telling God… “Ok God… I guess you need my help… let me take the control”…. Wow… and guess what God does in such situations…. All He says is – “All yours”… and leaves it up to us… and we think ok I had prayed God to take control so it’s He who is doing things that’s going wrong in my life…. But in reality its really us…

When we say to our Lord – “I surrender”… it truly means… Lord I am all yours… I don’t have anything in me to take control… and guess what that’s when God enters in and leads you to places you never dream of… Sounds like a fairy tale right… but trust me its true…

Post wedding… Along with my husband, one who accompanied me as always was God in this foreign land… We build our life around lot of worldly securities…  Money, job, friends, family, savings, property and then comes – God… But when you got to leave everything and everyone behind… the only person who will be with you as always is God… and that’s when you are 100% dependent on Him… that’s a scary but a beautiful feeling… Ya scary because at least I had never put 100% dependency on Him… He existed… but it’s easy to trust God with so many worldly securities surround us… but when all is gone…. That’s when we realize how big our God is… really…

Also feels like God is showing me a mirror… showing me my real self… my fears… all negative qualities in me… its like I am face to face with them…wow… feels like at times we really don’t have time to know ourselves in the running around, busy life… this halt was so much needed…

Indeed now I understand the real meaning of – “I surrender”… not to lean on our understanding but totally depend on God… :) …

Surrendering,
Rashmi

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