I Surrender…
Earlier usually one
thought or event would touch me and it was easy to pen them down onto this blog…
But these days so many thoughts and event occur daily…. So much to write and in the end I end up writing nothing…
As I was listening to this
hymn today – “I surrender” by Hillsong… I just felt how many times earlier I
have told Lord that - "I surrender my life to you God"… but in reality the very
next moment tried to take total control of the situation… it’s like telling God…
“Ok God… I guess you need my help… let me take the control”…. Wow… and guess
what God does in such situations…. All He says is – “All yours”… and leaves it up to us… and we think ok I had prayed God to take control so it’s He who is
doing things that’s going wrong in my life…. But in reality its really us…
When we say to our Lord – “I
surrender”… it truly means… Lord I am all yours… I don’t have anything in me to
take control… and guess what that’s when God enters in and leads you to places
you never dream of… Sounds like a fairy tale right… but trust me its true…
Post wedding… Along with
my husband, one who accompanied me as always was God in this foreign land… We build
our life around lot of worldly securities… Money, job, friends, family, savings, property
and then comes – God… But when you got to leave everything and everyone behind…
the only person who will be with you as always is God… and that’s when you are
100% dependent on Him… that’s a scary but a beautiful feeling… Ya scary because
at least I had never put 100% dependency on Him… He existed… but it’s easy to
trust God with so many worldly securities surround us… but when all is gone…. That’s
when we realize how big our God is… really…
Also feels like God is
showing me a mirror… showing me my real self… my fears… all negative qualities
in me… its like I am face to face with them…wow… feels like at times we really don’t
have time to know ourselves in the running around, busy life… this halt was so
much needed…
Indeed now I understand
the real meaning of – “I surrender”… not to lean on our understanding but
totally depend on God… :) …
Surrendering,
Rashmi
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