Go regret it!
There is something about this song – “Kal
ho na ho”…. I mean cmon I was just thinking about my next meeting with Obama
and this song starts playing…
I mean you get the idea. Not sure how to
feel about this but it takes me to a different world… Songs like these make me
slow down, pause and step back a little and think..
This could have been better?
Should I do
this?
Am I happy?
Songs like these make me look at my life
as a whole… Just like a movie, flashbacks appear… and I see all familiar faces…
and all those moments I hurried as if someone had let me lose in the rat race…
yaar 3 idiots ka dialogue yaad aagaya – Life is a race… tez nai bhaagoge tho
you will die…
But now when I look back… I only wonder…
wish itna tez nai bhaaga hota … I would have enjoyed my early 20’s better, which I know
will never come back… If you ask me what I did back then…. I can write a white
paper on my projects and work and work trips…
My tiny mind now tells me… as kal ho na
ho song plays in the background… Regret list is way too high…. The rat race had
a price to pay…
And in the process of the rat race,
breaking a promise has come naturally to me…
“I will call you” ,
“I will send
over a gift” ,
“I will meet you over weekend”…
and that call, that gift and
that meet never happened… Why? … because I was “Busy” ….
Working and toiling in
my office even over weekends… Back then indeed I have disappointed lot of
people… I promise I thought I would get a
“Highly Busy” tattoo back in those days… but by Gods grace I am blessed
with a loving family and friends who did ignore my busy phase and let me be…
I was so busy to even get married… I
still remember whenever my parents would bring up the marriage topic I would
give them the look as if they were planning to disown me… but how I wish I was
married a little earlier… I would spend some quality time in my 20’s with my
husband rather than with my laptop…
well… husband is a better option than a
laptop … wait let me think..
yes yes surely he is a better option ;)
Well I was busy enough to learn to dance…
well let me announce publicly… While the rest of the people scare away the
traffic with their gravity defying dance moves in a ‘baraat’, I shuffle around
nodding and smiling at relatives I last saw at stone age… even my mom and dad
would jump in and do some real disturbing jig with kids half their age, but I just
don’t have the rhythm to pull it off… the only and sole person who may come to
understand my pain is my husband… yesssssssss…. He cant dance either… match
made in heaven right… mereko bhi yehi laga when he first told me that he cant
dance… and with tears in my eyes I told him just 2 words – “ I Understand”….
Anyways, this is just a superficial
skimming of my regret bank. I haven’t even started about the bigger skeletons in my cupboard
which would need hours of coffee breaks…. I don’t even want to start them as my
anti-depressant pills are over and I am not planning to buy any of them anytime
soon…
Dont worry... its been 2 years and I have already walked down the lane i call - "Simplified Life"
So time to change the kal ho na ho track and go back
to my million dollar question – Agenda for my meeting with Obama…
______________________________Rashmi(9th
July, 2014)
