Go Regret it!

Go regret it!

There is something about this song – “Kal ho na ho”…. I mean cmon I was just thinking about my next meeting with Obama and this song starts playing…

I mean you get the idea. Not sure how to feel about this but it takes me to a different world… Songs like these make me slow down, pause and step back a little and think..

This could have been better? 

Should I do this? 

Am I happy?

Songs like these make me look at my life as a whole… Just like a movie, flashbacks appear… and I see all familiar faces… and all those moments I hurried as if someone had let me lose in the rat race… yaar 3 idiots ka dialogue yaad aagaya – Life is a race… tez nai bhaagoge tho you will die…

But now when I look back… I only wonder… wish itna tez nai bhaaga hota … I would have enjoyed my early 20’s better, which I know will never come back… If you ask me what I did back then…. I can write a white paper on my projects and work and work trips…

My tiny mind now tells me… as kal ho na ho song plays in the background… Regret list is way too high…. The rat race had a price to pay…

And in the process of the rat race, breaking a promise has come naturally to me…

 “I will call you” ,

 “I will send over a gift” ,

 “I will meet you over weekend”…

 and that call, that gift and that meet never happened… Why? … because I was “Busy” …. 

Working and toiling in my office even over weekends… Back then indeed I have disappointed lot of people… I promise I thought I would get a  “Highly Busy” tattoo back in those days… but by Gods grace I am blessed with a loving family and friends who did ignore my busy phase and let me be…

I was so busy to even get married… I still remember whenever my parents would bring up the marriage topic I would give them the look as if they were planning to disown me… but how I wish I was married a little earlier… I would spend some quality time in my 20’s with my husband rather than with my laptop…

 well… husband is a better option than a laptop … wait let me think..

 yes yes surely he is a better option ;)

Well I was busy enough to learn to dance… well let me announce publicly… While the rest of the people scare away the traffic with their gravity defying dance moves in a ‘baraat’, I shuffle around nodding and smiling at relatives I last saw at stone age… even my mom and dad would jump in and do some real disturbing jig with kids half their age, but I just don’t have the rhythm to pull it off… the only and sole person who may come to understand my pain is my husband… yesssssssss…. He cant dance either… match made in heaven right… mereko bhi yehi laga when he first told me that he cant dance… and with tears in my eyes I told him just 2 words – “ I Understand”….

Anyways, this is just a superficial skimming of my regret bank. I haven’t even started  about the bigger skeletons in my cupboard which would need hours of coffee breaks…. I don’t even want to start them as my anti-depressant pills are over and I am not planning to buy any of them anytime soon…

Dont worry... its been 2 years and I have already walked down the lane i call - "Simplified Life"

So time to change the kal ho na ho track and go back to my million dollar question – Agenda for my meeting with Obama…

______________________________Rashmi(9^th July, 2014)