Back When I was 21…

Just recalled an incident while conversing with mom today... Back when i was 21... Nahh.. Go ahead and read the same... ;)

Back When I was 21…

Once upon a time when I was 21 ;) … loll… I know I am making this sound like the incident when my kaamwali was a kid… loll… I know my kaamwalii rules my blog’s these days… but love commenting on her… damn cant get over the fact that she stole my I-pod… and when complained to mom she just looked back at me and said ‘Nothing against the kaamwali’… for a second I felt like I am the adopted child (Thank god my family doc is very much alive… that at least reminds my family… I belong to their clan… I know too much of exaggeration going on…) But when my mom supports my kaamwali, my kaamwali gives me a look that says… ‘Screw you’… ;)

Damn I keep drifting from the topic… Yea when I was just outta my “THE” engineering college… enjoying my vacations… the time when everybody acts nice… Mom cooks what I like…. Brother lets me have the remote. Dad does not nag me saying… “Now get serious about life… you are 21… 4 years and you will be married off”… damn… To top it even the neighborhood Mrs. Shah (One who thinks ki smile karne main bhi tax lagta… damn kanjus)… says “ Ohh Rashmi… Vacations haan?”... “Do you have a boyfriend” and she winks…

So background verification shows vacations were going on… And I was chilling and watching the History Channel … Ok. My parents don’t read this blog… I can be honest here… I was watching ‘Dare to Date’… on MTV… and my mausii called… And this conversation happened…

Mom (on phone , to mausi ) : What ? ......why ?

Mausi ( on phone , to mom ) : ........(me to you) wait a minute , how am I supposed to know what she said from the other side ?

Mom ( on phone , again to mausi ) : She just turned 21...But why ?

Mausi ( on phone , to ..i dnt believe it ...mom ) : ....(me to you).I told you guys, I dont know !

Mom ( on phone , to mausi ) : What ! Oh no Rama ...noh....he ..he...hehehe...shes still a kid , she just completed her Engineering...

Then suddenly I heard BIG BOSS saying “Rashmi...Ye aapki shaadi ki baat chalu hai’…

It was about my marriage you see. Some friend of ma's sister had some son. It was like I had just received an email from god with the subject line “From Girl to Woman". I agree that 21 is anyways too early an age which makes marriage sound more like child marriage. But that was the moment when it first struck me that marriage is no longer something which happens to big brothers. Marriage is no longer something which I attend as a guest, it may just happen to me. Anyways, mom mercilessly drove the scooter of my first marriage proposal in a brick wall. I still don’t know anything about that guy. But whoever he was, he was for me what a first ever customer is to an auto driver. Loll… (I was this serious about marriage back then)

Things changed radically soon after that strange day when I was 21. When I was 22 , I did not wait for any phone calls. I told my parents all about "him". I will be referring “Him” as Shahrukh… (Security reasons you see… maybe my parents will someday read this blog)

Yes, I told my parents Shahrukh wants to marry me... Though Shahrukh had just proposed to me but I guess my parents were the best people to answer his question. For someone like me to say something like that to my parents, it’s like a Tibetan monk asking for some beer at a pub. What followed were perhaps the most “Ripley’s Believe It or Not” days of my life so far. I save the story for another day…

And now that he is a series of black and white photographs pasted in my "golden memories" album, I see my marriage as being an arranged one…

Probably the guy’s family will visit my home… where in I would serve some coffee, smile at the guy and look … Mann this sounds sooooo fimli… But I think the time I spent with Shahrukh as friends has transformed me from a bubbly, stubborn girl to slightly more mature and considerate one… But I am just scared of one thing… scared of hurting people now… I still remember the day when I had to tell Shahrukh that this is not going to work… I can’t commit as I love my parents more than anyone else on this earth… But the guy I marry, I don’t want to hurt him ever….I know how bad and wrong I can be ...And I want to prove it to myself that I may be weak , but I am not evil… and the last thing I want to do is hurt the one I will marry…

Probably everyone else thinks relationship is following the normal, bollywood inspired storyline, and will end up fizzing out in a few months or years, replaced by the real questions such as who brings the kids from the school or who will change the baby diapers, or why haven’t I still paid the telephone bill, but I know my partner will always be the same special one for me…

At the end of my life, if  my weak sighted and old husband thinks I was the only one who could make his life complete ..then... its then I will know that I was not that bad a human being, after all… ;) ...

PS – Considering my family may read this, please promise me you will contribute money, utensils or old toys to help me escape to Canada or Bathinda at the opportune time.. ;)

Cheers,
Rashmi