Lazy Sunday Morning....Yawwnn !!!

Lazy Sundayyy Morninggggggggg.... Yawwnnn !!!

Ladies and gentlemen, Lazy Sunday morning… For a change I decided to bring my commitment to reality… A commitment I made when dinosaurs were as real as the fact that I will turn 25 soon ;)… or maybe the commitment made when Anupam Kher wasn’t bald…I know that’s the Hyperbole (Remember a type of figure of speech we learnt back in school… people who concentrated on English grammar rather than the English teacher will definitely re collect)…. Point is “Main ek baar jo commitment kari hun tho khud ki bhi nahi sunti” … hehe… ;) (Sorry guys… “Wanted” ki fan hun )

So where was I… yeah commitment crap… had decided to go for Morning Walk at 5AM… I know half of you have already reached your terrace to commit suicide after listening to my commitment… but main bhi insaan hun… uthh sakti hun jaldi… ;) … So me and my friend decided to give this a shot… and I ws up at 5 AM… My bed was hypnotizing me by saying… “Come back here… your dreams wll take you to places you haven’t even dreamed about”…Damnn I rejected all those mesmerizing thoughts by reminding myself “I will get lotta time to sleep once I am dead”… If you think that’s a pretty intelligent thing I said to myself … that too 5AM in the morning… Then hold on… I read it somewhere…Robin sharma maybe… Now appreciate my honesty ;) …

But Damn women… My friend gave me taang… can you imagine…I was up at 5AM that too on a Sunday morning… aaj kal tho commitment ka zamaana hi nahi raha ... What did I do next… don’t get ideas…. I ws annoyed … Changed and and… sorry didn’t go for a walk… raced towards my bed and reminded my bed to take me back to my dreams… and transfer me to places I haven’t even dreamed off… lol…

With nothing better on TV, I decided lets do something I haven’t done since ages… hmm…. Having some real conversations with myself… stop laughing… I know the deepest conversation knowing the kinda person I am should be “ Is 2+2 =4 or 5”…. Mann am damn bad with numbers… and this one question has always haunted me… guys suggestions will always be entertained… answer is either 4 or 5 this I am very sure since past 15 years… ;) (Considering the fact that I rejected the option of the answer being 6 or 7 when I was 19)…. Oh so proud I was of myself on that day ;)

I keep drifting from the topic… yeah abt deep conversations with myself… after Robin Sharmas gyaan early morning that struck me like the fact that I wll be 25 soon (sorry am not able to get over this fact ) … “I will get lotta time to sleep once I am dead” … Death…. Yeahh this was the topic for my Sunday Morning…

Death… Moment when life ends they say… by THEY I don’t mean some researcher in US… its not that complicated an issue to be taken to the white people… considering the fact that I am still alive… even though many have tried to end my life after reading my poems ;) …

I am not sure if I will go to heaven (Considering the fact that I am an engineer)… or a direct ticket to hell is awaiting for me (Considering the fact that I am still an engineer by profession when I did get 3 years to change my stream) … Don’t even know if heaven and hell exists… But Bible says it does… so no argument on that topic ;) (Kuch baaton main sarcasm nahi ghusaana chahiye )

But the fact remains that I am gonna die someday, maybe it happens when I am having my fav pizza… (just hope and pray that it happens when I have finished my last bite… mamma says its not good to waste food… and I don’t want to give God a chance to throw me to hell for such a silly reason… yeah if He decides to send me there for pushing my kaamwalli from my balcony I don’t mind… damnn she stole my brand new I pod… and considering the fact that Indian moms love their kaamwaalis more than their kids I knew that I had to do deal with this myself ) …

PS: How I know my kaamwaali stole my I-Pod… she was singing “One Love” while washing clothes… and this song was there in the track list…

Death- It would be like I am walking on a road… all happy… and suddenly I come across the dead end… Suddenly my busy schedule will be nullified… my priorities (So called stupid priorities ) … wll be reversed… No movies, No work, No carrier, No fights, No relationship, No Future Plans, No Friends, No money, No flat in Hiranandani, No Car loans, No Home loans, No marriage plans, No nothing… All that will come to my mind that moment will be what I have done so far… my deeds…

That will be the moment when I can no longer say “I do what I love to do… “ … For sure dying is not my hobby people… But love it or no I would be gone that moment… First time things will not be in my control… If I imagine what I will be feeling that day… that very moment… Maybe I will feel guilty for the people I have hurt, Maybe I will be happy for the smiles I spread, Maybe sad of oh those moments I should have told mom I loved her like crazy, (Always thought will tell her someday)… maybe will regret why I couldn’t accept someone as someone accepted me the way I was, Maybe will remember the happy moments I spent with my friends… Also those moments I cried with them… Or maybe I wll be heart broken thinking that I could have been a better daughter… better sister… better partner… better friend…

While I am alive I can ignore my deeds, my mistakes… can run away after making a mistake… can ignore the fact that I am not giving enof time to my family… can give reasons that I am drowned with responsibilities …. Hence I have no time to live… no time to love… no time to care abt pity matters like my parents are waiting for dinner while I am busy at work…

But these very things will fall on my face on the very moment I am about to die… Will my oh so great future plans even matter at that moment … God will be laughing on my face if I give him these reasons… ;) (No doubt he always laughs at my future plans)

All the fake securities I have built around me to secure my future… be it new flat… my bank balance…. None of these things can secure me when the moment to die comes my way...

Don’t get confused people… Main tho bass aiwe hii soch rahi thii… kuch aur kaam jo nahi thaa Sunday morning… So if you are getting any suicidal thoughts after reading this blog… and for those who have already jumped off their balcony and those who are on their way to the hospital.. don’t blame me to put you through all this.. blame my frined who made me wake up at 5AM ;) … Whatttttttttt… you want her name and address…. Nahh… Forgiveness naam ki jo cheeez hoti hai naa … I follow it once in a year … and quota for this year is over today… ;) … so aap bhi usse maaf kar do ;)

And before I go back and make my Sunday special breakfast ( Omlettle Toast ) … Wish you happyyy Sundayy… Pheww… “Happy New Day” hai jeee… Bhul gayee ;)


Cheers,
Rashmi (03rd October,2010)