"I Will Be A Good Human Being"

Acha Human Banoji :)

I will respect my elders,

I will help others,

I will never lie,

I will be a 'Good Human Being’ …

Back in late eighties a little child… sitting on first bench… used to write this in her little notebook... Maybe she was bad with her grammer back then too …( oops Grammar)… she used to write “Human Beeing” instead of “Human Being”… spelling mistake all over the place… little did she know the true meaning of what it is like being a “Good human Being”… but she did write it down because her teacher asked her to do so...

Six year olds are innocent kids… they blindly believe in what the teacher says…. six year olds don’t wanna become a doctor… don’t wanna become an engineer… don’t wanna fly onsite… don’t know what 8 lac per year pay package means…all they know is that their teacher asked them to be a “Good Human Being”…

21 years later…the same child found her little book where she had written “I will be a good human being”… … the same little girl today is writing this blog … she is grown up now… she did study well… went on to become an engineer… then did enter the IT jungle… now works in one of the top US based company…

In the midst of the software engineering class, she did forget this little sentence she had written in her notebook.. maybe she didn’t forget but she didn’t care… she was running this race where people didn’t care if you are good human being…

She was more concerned about being better than others… and she did it all… she almost always topped the class… got placed in a good company… got good hike everywhere… she was so busy being better than others... faster than others…

Over the years, lotta choices came across her… no doubt 90% choices she made were wrong… Not sure what made her do this… but these choices did change her… for good indeed for a change… few pains she inherited… few she lived … few she borrowed… few broke her into zillion pieces… another million hands re-built her… phew…

Many of you might be wondering what makes me write something like as simple as “Being a Good Human Being” … well few encounters with myself… few encounters with the “Me”

Somewhere I was the same little girl back in school until I joined the corporate… My first job was driving me nuts … my personal life was falling all over the place…. My parents had forgotten what it was like talking to me as I was so much busy with my work… I had transformed into a workaholic… The types who have their cars in the office parking lot when all the other ones have left . Have taken a total of four days off since June 2007 . Monday is no more a scary day . I send out office mails almost every Sunday ...Not that I wanted to be on the cover of Times … But my work load was just not reducing… But priorities had gone for a toss…

And it’s not only about the family... I had been losing friends faster than you would lose your cool if there was a porcupine inside your pants. Most of my friends didnt call me anymore, and those who did, called me a jerk. I mean, I was being compared to a wooden chair in context of my sensitivity levels, and the wooden chair has won invariably . And to be honest, which I have seldom been, not in the college exams at least, I do not blame any of my friends, or ex-friends. I am not proud of the girl I was…

Marked the date… 26th November 2008 … Remember the terrorist attacks in Mumbai… that day was my project go-live… I was at work… 11 Pm… Mumbai was in shock due to the terror attacks… and I had no clue that ths was happening outside my office… I was busy with my client call… I saw my cell phone ringing… “Mamma Calling” it said…. I cut the call… as I was busy… then one of my friend called… I cut that call too… then I got a text msg saying … “ Rashmi please leave office… terrorist attacks have started in Mumbai” … I thought it was a joke… and was in no mood fr any jokes.. called back my friend to just let her know that it was the most wrong time for a joke… she replied saying…. "Rashmi please don’t leave office…. Kuch bhi ho sakta hai…"

Then I realized why my parents were calling… I called back mom immediately to let her know I am safe… my cab driver called me to ask if I would prefer going home in this situation or I would be staying back in office…. I asked him to get the car… jhaasi ki raani bananae ka shauk tha…. But I didn’t wanna spend any more time in office… just prayed to God to help me reach home safely… seeing me home mom hugged me and told me never to hit some stunt like that ever again….

Next day in office… "Go- live" appreciation mails were flooding in… but somewhere I was not happy… I called upon a meeting with my manager… my manager told me that I will be assigned to a new project… the EBI- support team… an all boys team until now… and he said I am the first girl to be assigned to it as he loved my capabilities in the last project… but something in me was telling me its just not right… as a fresher I told my manager that I reject your offer… I would prefer being on bench… I prefer the pink slips that are flying for people on bench… I prefer resigning … I prefer all that… bt no more of this crazy work load…told him that I can no longer put work above my personal life… my manager was shocked… he accepted my offer and put me in another development team with less workload…

One year passed… was just waiting for my bond with LnT to get over… 5th Nov 2009 my bond got over… 12th November cleared Teradata Interview… 26th November, 2009 (Exactly the same day of the terror attacks) … I resigned from LnT… My manager became a zombie… he told me "hope you remember next week you are getting increment letters… and hope you know I have plans for you to go onsite soon"… I told him… "but did u know “money” is no longer my priority… if that was the case I would have waited for your increment letters…. Would have done a better salary negotiation with Teradata"… Yes guys, I did not even negotiate with the salary they offered… in the interview all I asked them was “Hope the work culture of Teradata Corporation is good” …

While leaving LnT my manager called me in the conference room and said….

“Rashmi… you are one person I see as always smiling… keep wearing that smile… I loved your enthu in the last 2 years you have been here... and your dedication… and most important I see you are a "Good human being"… you never cribbed for hike… never did u crib for onsite… you were always this happy go lucky person… I have seen the way you have Lead your team…You did not even crib when you were made the team lead as a fresher... i  understand it was too much of a responsibility on you but you did it with a smile...your leaving is a big loss for LnT… I have not asked any of the other people who are leaving to stay back... but with u i just cant seem to let go a resource like you...any moment you wanna come back to LnT… all you would need is just one call… and the job will be yours”…

This meant a lot to me… I rememberd Robin sharmas words back then… he has written in one of his book … “Think what you want people to tell about you on your last day at work… and live your life in the company that way… “

I hate to admit this, but while giving my farewell speech in LnT I did weep… I jst could not speak anything further… I just looked at my manager and he gave me the look that said… “Stay Back” … but I had to go…

I know many will read this ... Some people who think I am not practical enough … Some people who think I will change , and probably would forget these words soon enough . Some people who think I do not have the courage to be who I say I want to be . Some people who think I do not know what I really want to be . Some people who would not understand , and will think I do not understand...

All I can say is , I know what this means to me . And I do not expect many to understand what this means to me … Friends, I am talking to that child again. Even though I do not have that little notebook today , that page has not been clearer to me before today . And I will be a good human “beeng” …Maybe not faster . Maybe not sharper …Maybe not a winner for the world ... But definitely a good human being …

PS :

Kya… Suddenly 1 year pahale ki baat kaise yaad aagaya… well one of my friend shifted to Delhi after marriage… this week was her first day at work… she told me her manager is such a good guy… he was very helpful… when she thanked him for helping her out all he said was… “All I want you to remember me as is not your boss but as a good human being”… :) … ye dialogue se flash back hua jii ;) …

So all my seen and unseen friends who follow my blog regularly, sorry for making this post sound oh so serious… At times I just get carried away… Chalo jii… Weekend hai… got my plans to watch “No one Killed Jessica” … I need to shut down my lappy now… or else with the speed my blog list is increasing, I wll surely get some chance to write some script for some movie soon… I know my modesty is dead by now ;)

Now the upcoming statement goes to my teacher back in school who made me write in the notebook what the title of this blog reads... Dear Teacher I passed... Maybe not with flying colors... Just passed the exam called "Life" with grace marks...Border line main hi sahii ;) ... But I passed... :)

Love ya,
Rashmi (15th January,2011)